Uncle Eric’s Visit

I spent the past weekend visiting my older sister, Sujean, her husband, Isaac, and my nephew, Elliott Marcellus Watras, in Cincinnati. My other sister, Jessica, was on break from law school and joined us as well. Elliott, who recently turned two, is highly opinionated about many things, so once again, I let him guest blog. -EEK    (LDE)

Last Thursday afternoon, Mommy stuffed me in the car seat and started driving. I got bored and decided to take a nap. When I woke up, I was surprised to find Uncle Eric sitting next to me. Being well-versed in manners, I said, “Hello. How’re you doing?” Apparently, Uncle has never heard a toddler talk before, because he went nuts, further confirming my assessment last year: He’s either crazy or a fool or both. Ah, family.    (LDF)

As we drove, Uncle decided to take a picture of me. Since Halloween is around the corner, I decided to show off my monster face.    (LDG)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/105/276983651_912ae59e70_m.jpg?w=700    (LDH)

Afterwards, Uncle and I flipped through a book of marine life, and I told him the names of the different animals. When I told him my favorite was the shark, Uncle put his hand on his head and started humming the Jaws theme. He even did a hammerhead impression. That was pretty fun, so when we got home, we both ran around pretending we were sharks. I also made Mommy, Daddy, and Aunt Jessica play. We played that game every day for hours. Damn, that was a good game.    (LDI)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/89/277000502_254b4f8132_m.jpg?w=700 https://i2.wp.com/static.flickr.com/114/276999489_c7c67829b8_m.jpg?w=700    (LDJ)

Uncle gave me a book called, Animals on Strike at the Zoo. I heard him joke to Mommy that the pictures were great, but that the story was anti-labor and that the Republicans seem to have gotten to the children book authors. Yes, the book did imply that the animals were striking unreasonably, but I think his assessment was a bit harsh. The commentary seemed directed more towards the unions of, say, professional athletes than those of factory workers. I also liked the pictures of the monkeys.    (LDK)

Later, I showed Uncle the toy cello Daddy gave me for my second birthday. I got bored with pretending to play it, though, and decided to show Uncle my skills with the real deal.    (LDL)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/121/276994222_870bbf8955_m.jpg?w=700 https://i2.wp.com/static.flickr.com/101/276997416_8c61c006b8_m.jpg?w=700    (LDM)

I like cello, but I really enjoy the drums.    (LDN)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/84/276989853_56986efe7c_m.jpg?w=700    (LDO)

Last year, I gave Uncle a loving head-butt every time I saw him. I’ve added a mean left hook and a body slam to my repertoire, and I decided to practice all of my moves with Uncle. Mommy and Daddy got mad at me, because they don’t want me to hit people. Uncle agreed with them, but added that it was okay to play fight, and he let me clock him a few (hundred) times.    (LDP)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/114/277019517_46ed0352a0_m.jpg?w=700    (LDQ)

Uncle taught me how to give him a five last year, and since then, Daddy’s also taught me the high-five and the fist tap. Mommy and Daddy were much more lenient about me practicing these with Uncle, who also showed me how to ask for a five in return. He promised to teach me the forearm bash next year, but he said I’ll need to be much older before I can attempt the chest bump, at least with him.    (LDR)

https://i0.wp.com/static.flickr.com/93/277017778_47a4c5d38c_m.jpg?w=700    (LDS)

While I was showing Uncle my room, he pointed to a picture of a train on the wall and asked, “Who painted that?” I responded, “I think Daddy did.” Once again, Uncle went nuts, and he went running to Mommy and Daddy to tell them that I understood the notion of uncertainty. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I was just repeating what Mommy said whenever I asked her the same question. [This was my sister’s theory, but I don’t buy it. I think Elliott understood exactly what he was saying. -EEK]    (LDT)

I loved playing with both Aunt Jessica and Uncle Eric, especially since they were so easy to manipulate. All I had to do was look longingly at Uncle and say, “Cake?”, and he would dig up something sweet. Mommy kept hurling dirty looks at him, but he assured me that she’s been doing that for thirty years and that he was totally immune.    (LDU)

https://i0.wp.com/static.flickr.com/111/277002085_f4c517368f_m.jpg?w=700    (LDV)

Not to say that Aunt and Uncle didn’t return the favor. They apparently suffer from narcolepsy, because they kept falling asleep at random times, and they would only wake up if I kissed them on the cheek. One time, Uncle fell asleep while holding his camera. I thought that was strange, but I kissed him anyway.    (LDW)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/112/277026529_074bdce66e_m.jpg?w=700    (LDX)

On Sunday, Aunt Jessica baked cookies, and she let me help! While we waited, Uncle taught me a new game, “Bounce,” where he bounced me up and down on his air mattress like a trampoline. I loved it so much, I kept demanding that we play again. Unfortunately, Uncle is pathetically out-of-shape, and while he was catching his breath, he tried to stall by asking me, “Who’s your favorite uncle?” I saw through his ploy, and decided to have some fun with it, so I pretended to think for a long time, then responded, “Jessica.” We repeated this exchange several times, until Uncle started ripping his hair out in frustration, and Mommy, Daddy, and Aunt Jessica rolled around with laughter. Uncle tried to bribe me with M&M’s, which I gladly accepted, but I still wouldn’t give. Finally, I tired of this exchange and put on my sad face, at which point Uncle started playing “Bounce” again.    (LDY)

https://i1.wp.com/static.flickr.com/103/277027423_fa5c52bdfb_m.jpg?w=700    (LDZ)

I had a good time. It was especially fun to see Aunt Jessica and Uncle Eric at the same time. I can’t wait to see my favorite relatives again soon! Okay, back to my cookies.    (LE0)

https://i2.wp.com/static.flickr.com/90/277035532_6943b1362d_m.jpg?w=700    (LE1)

I can’t wait to see you again, too, Elliott! More pictures are available on Flickr. -EEK    (LE2)

Meeting Uncle Eric

Today, my nephew, Elliott Marcellus Watras, turns one. In honor of his first birthday, he’s guest blogging today. -EEK    (JU6)

A few weeks ago, I was napping peacefully in the car, when I heard this clicking noise. I opened my eyes and saw this strange looking fellow taking pictures of himself and staring at me. As soon as I woke up, he started gurgling at me inarticulately. I was wondering how this freak got into the car and was about to use my newly acquired motor skills on his crazy butt. Then Mommy explained he was my uncle. Shakespeare once wrote that blood was thicker than water. I’d be a fool to ignore the Bard, so I decided to give my uncle a chance and to get to know him better.    (JU7)

   (JU8)

Uncle and I had a pretty good time together. He gave me this sweet bowling set for my birthday with stuffed animals for pins. I couldn’t quite get the hang of actually rolling the ball, so I pretended I was Godzilla and swatted away the pins myself. Then he taught me how to give him a five. At first, I thought he had gone nuts again, but the experience grew on me.    (JU9)

   (JUA)

I showed my newfound affection for uncle by head-butting him repeatedly. For some reason, he found that hysterical, so from then on, I greeted him every morning with a head-butt.    (JUB)

   (JUC)

Uncle let me play with his iBook. He started telling me about how Firefox was the best browser out there. I tried to tell him that while usability played a critical role in its success, the real potential is in Mozilla as a platform. Uncle responded by singing a silly song. I can’t believe people pay this guy for his brains. I did enjoy the song, though.    (JUD)

   (JUE)

Mommy, Daddy, Uncle, and I went to Camp Washington for some Cincinnati Chili. I got hungry, so I powered through a package of oyster crackers. Daddy said he had never seen me eat solid food like that on my own accord and that I was one step closer to becoming a man. Then Daddy and Uncle started getting teary-eyed. Apparently, the man gene sometimes skips a generation. Then again, you wouldn’t know it from watching them eat.    (JUF)

   (JUG)

Uncle saw me flirting with some two- and three-year old girls at the zoo, and he told Mommy and Daddy that I would be trouble when I got older. Then he and Daddy started arguing about where I got my “player” genes. Mommy just looked pained. I used to think she only got that face around Daddy, but apparently not.    (JUH)

All in all, Uncle was an okay guy. I especially enjoyed chewing on his glasses.    (JUI)

   (JUJ)

Okay, back to my nap!    (JUK)

   (JUM)

The day after I got home, I called my sister and asked to speak to Elliott. Upon hearing my voice, he started head-butting the phone. I love that kid. Happy Birthday, Elliott! Can’t wait to see you again. -EEK    (JUL)

My Nephew and His Frog

To satiate those who have demanded visual evidence that my nephew, Elliott Marcellus Watras, truly exists and to appease those who prefer juicy personal tidbits rather than boring diatribes on collaboration, here’s a picture of my nephew and his mom, Sujean Kim:    (IP9)

   (IPA)

My other sister, Jessica Kim, trekked to Cincinnati a few weeks ago to visit, and she delivered a stuffed frog I bought for Elliott. The frog was accompanied by the following instructions:    (IPB)

   (IPC)

Elliott got the message and improved on it:    (IPD)

   (IPE)

As you can see, the kid has looks and brains.    (IPF)